Sunday, January 3, 2010

SBF's Ignore Beyaki, Watch This Quick

It's the First Sunday and today we're talking about what's goin on around us. When Black Women Talk - Black Men Should Listen more sincerely if they want a Mate; instead of a date. Black Women in their 20's, 30's and some even older are experiencing the worst side of being professional, and having standards - Being ALONE.

Recently Comic and Commentator Steve Harvey wrote a book on relationships. According to those in the know, like our friend Bria, much of what he says is true. Steve has a point about Beautiful Blackwomen. SBL's need to look UP instead of Across. too often we look at the pool we swim in; instead of the whole beach. Black Ladies take it from me, there are men out there who will treat you right, and Marry You. you just need to stop looking in the wrong places. Open Up Your Options and Toss That list. it's not going to help you. Open Yourself Up for More Possiblities. set some guidelines and get in the game.

Steve says that men want to know what you WILL Accept; and expect - rather than what you want. that really cuts through the butter. imagine if everywoman knew this at 13 years old. talk about a drastically different world.

Steve Harvey's Relationship Rules

How can it even be realistic that White Women get married at Twice the Rate of Black Women; especially Professional Black Women ?

Trust Me Sista Becky (apologies to My White Ladies, but Becky is the name most folks use commonly to associate with you all - no offense intended), that's why you get the shifty eye in the checkout line when you step up there with your  frozen pizza and rollers in your hair; and your muffintop rollin out; next to the Sister who has taken all she has to try to make herself look like a million dollar designer doll; just to pick up some Skim Milk.

Sisters, it's a very ugly feeling knowing you are beautiful and smart, yet a man will choose Becky instead of you; because he thinks you are another Beyaki.  Men You Need To Think A Little More before you Dismiss a Beautiful Black Woman; or to think that you can corral us in a herd, like horses waiting for a ride. too many of us are bound to the past pain from parental mistakes, early relationship crisis and the drag of day to day stress. time can heal if you allow it to act as a lesson, instead of embittering your heart. Open up your doors to new and fresh possibilities. accept that change and variety, are the spices of life.

Believe me, after two marriages; I ought to know. this marriage is built on more years of dating then slowly deciding. when he felt it was time to get married, He Popped the question. I had to decide if I was ready to make that commitment. he knew that he wanted a good women. I had doubts that he could and would make that same commitment towards me. I turned him down the first few times he asked. sure I had options, and I made sure he recognized it, Everyday.

my options were not only my career and school but my  large international social structure and the folks who were a part of it; not including HIM. FYI - My Well Traveled Passport Was and and Still Is in my purse, Always. Options are a very important point in any mans mind, so make sure your man knows You Have SOME, Always.

men seem to have a greater respect for a fair exchange. I was told as a young woman that "Fair Exchange is No Robbery". what exactly does that mean ? to me it means being able to receive exactly what I give; without a second consideration. that's what a firm and transparent relationship feels like - Fair Exchange. it's not always fair in each persons eyes, but by the time karma sorts it out, it's fair.

For Us, Finally, after we had a major break up after He Cheated. I said  Fuck Off. Then He saw the error in his ways and decided to play the game fairly. No Ladies Don't put yourself out there for a ZERO. You Can All Find Your Hero, just listen to what Steve is saying and Ignore Beyaki and her fake asspads and yakibrain.

Steve says Ladies Start Thinking Like a Man; Don't give away your benefits before 90 days. not even ford motor company does that. Sweet Minty Jesus, Have Mercy Steve. those are some great words there brother.
Believe Me if you are Real and Stick to Your principals; Someone Wonderful Will Put a Ring On It,



I remember in college having a conversation about the lack of black men to marry and that was then. Anyway, the statistics, even though I am familiar with them, remain alarming, but I had no idea there were 1.8 million more black women than men. Goodness.

Boy oh boy, I hope my daughter won't have it this bad because I do have my girlfriends who are single and I know they wish they didn't have to be. Lord knows...


ONE of THE GUYS said...

First let me say, Happy New Year RE! I wish you and yours the best in 2010!

Now to the topic at hand. As far as the pool of guys, yes the larger you spread the net the more chance you'll get a good catch. Limiting options is never a good idea for finding a mate, and for life in general.

But I do believe it shouldn't be a negotiation. If you find a good guy, he'll recognize what he has. Sure we guys like things that are pretty but we're not that dumb. We also want someone smart we can talk with.... Someone with similar values and morals.... And someone we enjoy hanging out with and we can have fun with.

If women enter relationships with a prenuptial mindset it's hard to work from there.

Finally, I agree, relationships are about give and take. Fairness is important. That doesn't mean it's always equal, but in the end it should be fair.

Nice post RE!

RE Ausetkmt said...

Hey Solomonsydelle, you know we as Black Women in the usa; all look around us at the White Women we know that are about the same age, and want to measure our progress.

somehow I think we need to learn that each of us is different and that's how we will be perceived. getting a husband seems like an olympic sport in the usa.

women in other countries don't seem to have this difficulty. the women I know who have had the most success in relationships always think outside the box.

I know you know what i mean. too many lil girls are trained to think of themselves as wives first; instead of successful women - which is societies issue.

Thanks for your comment Sweets

RE Ausetkmt said...

Hey Guys - I wish more guys thought like you. and I'm sure most of my sisters agree. men you need to let a sista know when ya feelin us.

A Big Happy 2010 to you too guys